I jinxed myself! I was looking at the calendar last Monday night and kinda patting myself on the back that it had been 10 weeks of taking care of the mother-in-law, and it's gone well. Sure enough! The very next day we she and I got into a humdinger of a fight, our first biggie! And of course, it was over medicine.
We had gone to do her grocery shopping, and she picked up a bottle of Aleve to put in the cart. I took it out of her hands and reminded her that she couldn't take that, the Dr. specified Aleve as a no-no when they went over her discharge instructions. I remember her daughter getting right in her face and telling her "Now Mom, you can't take Aleve anymore because of you new medicine." And when they got home, the daughter threw out any bottles of Aleve in the house. After a heated discussion, I gave in and let her put it in the cart. I figured that when I loaded the groceries in the car, I'd pull the bottle out of her sack and put it in one of mine. Unfortunately, she must have smelled that plan on me, because when we got to the car she began rummaging through the sacks and found the Aleve and put it in her jacket pocket. *sigh*
I was mad because she just wasn't doing what she was supposed to do. When I got in the car, I turned to her and said, why don't you just call the doctor and tell him that you are in pain! And the Tylonal they are telling you to take isn't cutting it, so what can you take? Ask the doctor, that's why you have him, and he knows best. She said she had called the doctor, and I said that's BS! You know you didn't call him because he wouldn't have said this was ok. She then accused me of calling the doctors behind her back. That floored me! I told her I haven't done that EVER. I know how she felt about that and haven't once done it!! She insisted that I had. I started crying because I couldn't believe she'd tell a lie like that. We fussed, and she got out of the car, so I scurried around to her door to keep her from wandering off (She tells the story that I "yanked" her out of the car and she said I was trying to make her fall - *sigh*) So we're in the parking lot, I'm crying and we're both fussing at each other. I finally tell her to get in the car and I took her walking cane and put it in there (she says I took it from her and tried to make her fall, *sigh again*) She finally did. I said if she wasn't going to listen to me, I'd just tell her daughter about the Aleve and let HER get it through to MIL. She said, "You just do that, you call her all the time behind my back and tell her everything anyway!" Another lie I couldn't believe she'd say! I came around and got in and she fussed at me "Shut up and take me home, and just shut up, don't talk to me the way home." I was SOBBING! My teeth were chattering I was crying so hard. I told her that I hadn't spoken to her daughter since we took over her care, except for the one time they came to visit at her house and I was there. That's it! She said I'd talked to the Son-in-Law just the day before, "Yes, I answered the phone, and then passed it to you! I didn't TALK about anything!" So that was our ride home - 10 miles, me sobbing and asking her why she would tell lies about me and telling her that I've put keeping her in her home as my number one priority. Her saying "Just keep crying like a baby, throw your little fit like a crybaby, go on!" The logical part of my brain knew that she was just keeping up a diversion to throw me off the real issue, the bottle of Aleve in her pocket. Twice I even said "Heck, I can promise you I never called your daughter because I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER! Why would I call her?" Before I said it a third time, my logical part of the brain said, "Hey dummy, all she's going to remember about this car ride is that you don't like her daughter - -that's not good! Shut up!"
So, we get to my house and I go in and take my one sack of groceries, leaving her in the car. I wake up DH and say between sobs, "You need to get up, get dressed and take your mom to her house right now!" Poor fellow, he was sleeping peacefully, and then this! And of all things to say, he sits up and says "Why?" I kicked off my shoes across the room as I screamed "Because I F*ING said so!" Yeah, he didn't mumble another word!
I stripped and crawled into bed and kept sobbing. Really, the force of this cry almost scared me. I couldn't believe it. But I"m sure 10 weeks of stress built up and this was a bit of a release. By the time DH got home, about a half hour later, I was in the shower and finally not crying. I gave him just the bare bones, not wanting to really drag him into it, or give it any more attention than it needed.
Now, it's a week and a half later, I've talked with the niece a bit and given her some of my side, to offset some of MIL's inaccuracies. And I figure I'll just go on as if nothing ever happened. However, I now know that she has some paranoia (thinking I'm calling doctors and family behind her back) and does a fair amount of lying (either intentional, or just out of old age or confusion?) So I will no longer take what she says at face value. Also, I'm of the opinion that I'm not going to work harder to keep her healthy than she is working. So like the Aleve, if she's going to buy it and take it, I'll let her, I'll make notes to let the Doctor's know at her next appointment, but I won't tattle to anyone and I won't try to stop her. DH has said all along that she will try to do stupid things and we can't stop her. I was of the opinion it was our job to do just that. And now, I agree with DH. I'll remind her of things (Like you can't take that Aleve, or go down the stairs by yourself) but when she does it, then that's her choice and I'm not interfering.
She has started asking Sam to take her places and calling her daughter at least once about some doctor thing. But I'll just be acting like nothing happened and moving on. I plan to take her to the appointments I know about, if only to be sure I and the doctor are both getting full and first-hand information.
*sigh* at least it's not MY mom, that would add a whole other emotional, button-pushing level to the "fun" LOL
Friday, May 16, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Going ok, I guess
Three weeks since the last post, and it's going ok with the MIL. We had one more problem, well a fight almost. She decided to stop using her pill box (where she sets the pills up for a week) and take her meds from the bottles instead, AND instead of taking them in the morning all together, and the blood thinner at night -- she (with her infinite medical wisdom and background *cough cough*) has decided to take them spaced out through the day. I was trying to get her to call the doctor and just confirm that this would be ok -- I mean, he may want the blood pressure pill to be first thing in the morning, not in the afternoon. She got mad and even raised her voice, so I raised my voice back and in the end, *big surprise* she is going to do it her way. I however, am going to count her pills in her pill bottles to try to keep track of whether they are being taken properly. It all boiled down to control really. She doesn't want anyone else in charge of her medicine or telling her how to do them. Not even her doctors it seems. As of the day of the fight, it looks like she has missed two or three blood thinners over the last month, and maybe one of her other pills. But the remaining two looked to be spot on. Let's see where it is in a week or so.
The good news is, we got her a medical alert pendant and she seems to be wearing it whenever I come in. That's great! We're going to get a phone line run in the hallway so the monitoring box can be more centrally located. But for now it's in the living room. When we called to test it, DD said, "have her turn the tv down so they can hear her!" and I said, "Nope, when she really has an emergency the tv will probably be blaring, so let's see if it works with that as background noise" LOL. And it did, hurray!
As far as quilting, yeah, what quilting. I took the Charm Stars off the frame and will be picking out the quilting. I really do want to custom quilt it, and may have an idea that won't involve ten thousand thread colors! So it's worth giving it a try. In the meantime, I have Alexa's wedding gift, a table runner on the frame. It's going really well. I used wool batting so the stitches are showing up really well.
The four patches in the center are getting feathered swirls and curved cross-hatching (above) and the setting triangles are my very first attempt at curved cross-hatching ;) (below)
The wedding colors are mustard and mint, so I didn't use those exact colors, but hopefully the yellow and greens will remind her of the wedding and make this a treasured keepsake. So I'd better take this little bit of free time I have and get some more quilting done, the weddig is at the end of the month and that's getting closer and closer each day.
The good news is, we got her a medical alert pendant and she seems to be wearing it whenever I come in. That's great! We're going to get a phone line run in the hallway so the monitoring box can be more centrally located. But for now it's in the living room. When we called to test it, DD said, "have her turn the tv down so they can hear her!" and I said, "Nope, when she really has an emergency the tv will probably be blaring, so let's see if it works with that as background noise" LOL. And it did, hurray!
As far as quilting, yeah, what quilting. I took the Charm Stars off the frame and will be picking out the quilting. I really do want to custom quilt it, and may have an idea that won't involve ten thousand thread colors! So it's worth giving it a try. In the meantime, I have Alexa's wedding gift, a table runner on the frame. It's going really well. I used wool batting so the stitches are showing up really well.
My favorite though, is the feathered hearts in the diamonds.. There is still some blue wash-out marker visible, but they are still looking beautiful. You can't go wrong with hearts on a wedding gift! I'm going to put the bride and grooms names around the outside in the sashing and the wedding date.The wedding colors are mustard and mint, so I didn't use those exact colors, but hopefully the yellow and greens will remind her of the wedding and make this a treasured keepsake. So I'd better take this little bit of free time I have and get some more quilting done, the weddig is at the end of the month and that's getting closer and closer each day.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Chugging along
Another week is down and it went ok. MIL is going out to the barn to feed the cats without anyone with her. I suspected something was up with the cats out there, because they weren't rushing to meet me when I came to feed them in the evening. Now I know why -- she had already fed them in the morning! We had told, asked and begged her not to go out to the barn by herself, but she is taking those times when DH isn't there and doing it anyway. I guess it's ok because she isn't falling or hurting herself, but I am concerned that it would be so easy for her to misstep or a cat to tangle in her feet and bring her down. Now, the question is: will she actually tell us if she falls when we are not there? I think that she is afraid that if she falls and tells us, the little bit of freedom she has when DH isn't staying there, will be gone.
My mom asked a good question: WHY is she supposed to have 24/7 supervision? I thought it was the blood thinner, but mom pointed out that there are gobs of people on blood thinners who don't have to be supervised all the time. Maybe the Dr's picked up on her stubbornness and the too think that she won't be honest about letting us know if she falls? She was weaker and her balance wasn't 100% when she left the hospital, so that might have been part of it. Maybe the Dr's felt it was too much fall risk for her to be alone? Or maybe her confusion is why? Her confusion is not really from the stroke, she's always been a little slow and gets mixed up easily.
So after thinking this over, I'd like to set up an appointment with the Neurologist to revisit why he wanted her to have 24/7 supervision. Also, at the same appointment, I can bring up driving. She has been talking about "taking classes" and "getting tested" so she can "start driving again." I don't want to have to be the bad guy telling her she'll never drive again. I can handle reminding her about what the doctor said, but I need him to tell her first and really try to get it across to her. Hearing it from more than just her kids, might help her know it's not just us being mean to her. It's really a medical decision.
Not a single bit of quilting has happened at my place :( But, I did learn to crochet last week, yippee! I took my sample swatches that I made over to my crochet neighbor and she said I'm doing great! She said my stitches were nice and even. I made it through single crochet, half-double, double, treble and then circles. I only made little sample swatches as I worked through the lessons in the book I bought. When I got to circles, I was able to make pretty flowers so that was cool! And, I came up with a great way to salvage my favorite skirt!! I spilled some bleach on it last summer when adding chemicals to the pool and it left little dots trailing down one side from the front pocket down to about the back of my knee. It might not have been so bad, but a couple of the dots were about the size of a small lima bean and one of them wore into a hole :( But I'm going to put little crochet flowers and leaves onto the skirt, sort of trailing down the side and around to the back - it will cover the hole and the few spots that are still there, plus it will add some neat dimension and interest to the skirt. This is one of my favorite skirts, so I"m thrilled to be able to make it wearable again (I mean, a middle aged lady just CAN'T go around town in a skirt with a small hole on her tushy!!)
We took the chicks out into the run today so they could enjoy the pretty, warm day. They were a little freaked out about it at first. They just stood there and didn't even move for a couple of minutes - it was funny! But they eventually began walking around, spreading their wings and scratching the ground. I'll try to get some pix added to this post - it's been awhile since I've had pix with a post, and I know they make the posts more fun!
Tonight, we are taking littlest DD to meet up for her first date. She is going to a school get together with a young man from church. The two have been texting for a few months and it's been pretty obvious to everyone at church (heck, even DH noticed!!) that they like each other. So he asked her to go to this event with him (dinner, bowling, scavenger hunt, and another meal to end the night around 2 or 3 in the morning). Now when they first talked about this event, they were both saying the were going "just as friends" But looks like they have had some change of heart as they texted more and spent time together at church. Earlier in the week he messaged me and asked permission to "ask her out" on a "real" date. She thinks he's going to ask her while they are together at the function tonight, and for all intents and purposes, tonight has turned into a date too. She's all atwitter about it, that's for sure! Here are two pix from the night - first is after he gave her "the" note asking her to be his girlfriend (and yep, I still have my first note like that asking me to "go steady" with a boy when I was 15 *sigh*) and the second is the more formal pose that was being taken there.
Ah, isn't first love cute :)
My mom asked a good question: WHY is she supposed to have 24/7 supervision? I thought it was the blood thinner, but mom pointed out that there are gobs of people on blood thinners who don't have to be supervised all the time. Maybe the Dr's picked up on her stubbornness and the too think that she won't be honest about letting us know if she falls? She was weaker and her balance wasn't 100% when she left the hospital, so that might have been part of it. Maybe the Dr's felt it was too much fall risk for her to be alone? Or maybe her confusion is why? Her confusion is not really from the stroke, she's always been a little slow and gets mixed up easily.
So after thinking this over, I'd like to set up an appointment with the Neurologist to revisit why he wanted her to have 24/7 supervision. Also, at the same appointment, I can bring up driving. She has been talking about "taking classes" and "getting tested" so she can "start driving again." I don't want to have to be the bad guy telling her she'll never drive again. I can handle reminding her about what the doctor said, but I need him to tell her first and really try to get it across to her. Hearing it from more than just her kids, might help her know it's not just us being mean to her. It's really a medical decision.
Not a single bit of quilting has happened at my place :( But, I did learn to crochet last week, yippee! I took my sample swatches that I made over to my crochet neighbor and she said I'm doing great! She said my stitches were nice and even. I made it through single crochet, half-double, double, treble and then circles. I only made little sample swatches as I worked through the lessons in the book I bought. When I got to circles, I was able to make pretty flowers so that was cool! And, I came up with a great way to salvage my favorite skirt!! I spilled some bleach on it last summer when adding chemicals to the pool and it left little dots trailing down one side from the front pocket down to about the back of my knee. It might not have been so bad, but a couple of the dots were about the size of a small lima bean and one of them wore into a hole :( But I'm going to put little crochet flowers and leaves onto the skirt, sort of trailing down the side and around to the back - it will cover the hole and the few spots that are still there, plus it will add some neat dimension and interest to the skirt. This is one of my favorite skirts, so I"m thrilled to be able to make it wearable again (I mean, a middle aged lady just CAN'T go around town in a skirt with a small hole on her tushy!!)
We took the chicks out into the run today so they could enjoy the pretty, warm day. They were a little freaked out about it at first. They just stood there and didn't even move for a couple of minutes - it was funny! But they eventually began walking around, spreading their wings and scratching the ground. I'll try to get some pix added to this post - it's been awhile since I've had pix with a post, and I know they make the posts more fun!
Tonight, we are taking littlest DD to meet up for her first date. She is going to a school get together with a young man from church. The two have been texting for a few months and it's been pretty obvious to everyone at church (heck, even DH noticed!!) that they like each other. So he asked her to go to this event with him (dinner, bowling, scavenger hunt, and another meal to end the night around 2 or 3 in the morning). Now when they first talked about this event, they were both saying the were going "just as friends" But looks like they have had some change of heart as they texted more and spent time together at church. Earlier in the week he messaged me and asked permission to "ask her out" on a "real" date. She thinks he's going to ask her while they are together at the function tonight, and for all intents and purposes, tonight has turned into a date too. She's all atwitter about it, that's for sure! Here are two pix from the night - first is after he gave her "the" note asking her to be his girlfriend (and yep, I still have my first note like that asking me to "go steady" with a boy when I was 15 *sigh*) and the second is the more formal pose that was being taken there.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Going ok, so far . . . . .
Well, we took over caring for MIL on the 24th of Feb. and the first week went pretty great really. Our only hiccup came at the end of the week. When I came to her house Friday evening we were going to set up her pills for the week. Only 4 of the 5 bottles were on the table. I looked and looked (even crawling under the table on my hands and knees!) but couldn't find it. Then I got the idea to look in the trash. BINGO! There was the bottle with the label torn off, and a little more digging found 5 pills. DD was there and she dug around for the rest of them. Luckily it was all paper garbage, not coffee grounds or tuna fish cans, LOL. When asked if she threw them out, of course MIL said "no." And I asked if she had any idea how they got there, "No." I spent some time trying to explain why these were important (it was her Crestor) and she gave me her reasons why she shouldn't be taking it anymore. Really great stuff like "I'm allergic to it and the family Dr. knows it, he took me off Crestor years ago and told me I'd never have to take it again" Mind you, she admitted into the hospital with it as one of her "current meds." So that doesn't really hold up. Then she tried, "It's the same as this other one (because they are both light peach in color!) so I can't take them both!" Basically, she just convinced herself that she wasn't going to take them and wasn't going to listen to anything I had to say. I asked if she would throw them away again if I left them there and she said "Probably." So I took them when I left that night. She had an appointment with the family doctor coming up the next Wednesday. I looked online and there aren't any horrible side effects from going off it cold turkey, so I decided to let it go until we saw the Doctor.
At that appointment, he said all the same things I said. Those side effects were not from the medication. She's tired and dizzy from the AFib, not the Crestor. And Crestor doesn't cause a rash. She still didn't care and wasn't going to accept it. He told her to take it for 3 or 4 days more and if there were side effects that were bad, then she could set it aside. She told DD later when asked about the appointment, "Only 4 more days!" With a chuckle. So what SHE heard is, "take it for 4 more days, then you can quit." *sigh*
The other problem is that DH & I don't see eye to eye on keeping someone there 24/7. He thinks it's fine to let her be alone and if she has a fall or a problem she can just call us. This is crazy because it depends on her 1. calling for help - which she never, never does. 2. being honest about how she is feeling, which she also never, never does and again, calling for help when she is not feeling well. 3. following the "rules" about not going outside without anyone, using her cane, no stairs, etc. So I am still going over for all my "shifts" and just hanging out. But now, in only the second week of this, he is going on Thursday and Friday morning for a short visit and then coming home and going to bed. So she is alone from, say, 9am until I get there around 5pm. *another sigh* I understand his problem with being there, he is not getting enough sleep and has fallen asleep at work - that could get him fired! But, yesterday he did this for the first time, and she went outside alone and got the mail and paper. Luckily, no falls or incidents, but next time? Who knows?
He says I'm not listening to him, when he says we don't need to be there 24/7, but I also think he's not hearing me. He gets upset because he says my questioning his plan is saying I'm saying he doesn't "know" his mom. But you know, in a way I don't think he does. He knows she is stubborn, and he knows she is determined, but he doesn't seem to know that this stubborn determined thing takes its form in her throwing away medication and going out to the road. And she doesn't regret either one of those examples. She would do them again - heck, she's alone today, maybe she DID go out to the mailbox. What if she had thrown away her blood thinner instead of cholesterol medicine? What if I hadn't noticed? How long before another stroke? And God help us, what if this one was bigger? He tells her THAT, but she is like most people, thinking "Oh, that won't happen to me, I'll be fine." And that's the part he is disconnected from. She thinks "Oh, it's just down the sidewalk, to the mailbox. There's no snow or ice, I have my cane . . . . I'll be just fine, nothing will happen." But you know what, falls happen, accidents happen. We aren't at her house to "give care" but mostly just to "be there in case." And yes, it does feel like a lot of wasted time. Nothing happens and we aren't needed. I sit there for 10 hours on her couch listening to TV shows I don't like (CSI, NCIS, Law & Order Special Victims & Criminal Minds -- SOOOO Depressing and dark! I hate even just hearing it & having it in my brain!!!!) and hand quilting or doing our bills & budgets. Just busywork, not really accomplishing anything.
So, now we head into our second weekend - DD & I will both be gone all day tomorrow (7:30am to 5 or 6pm) and MIL will be at our house for the day. I'll be interested to hear how it goes, what happens. Poor her though, DH will be watching what he likes, so it's "mountain men" - type reality shows for her all day, LOL.
Of course, my quilting isn't getting done, so the charm quilt didn't make it to the Bloomington show, heck, it only has about 2 passes done. I'm just doing a meandering feather all over the pieced section, rather than more custom quilting. The thread colors were just going to be a nightmare with all the different color fabrics. I have a pretty table runner that's pieced and ready to quilt as a wedding gift for a gal at church. Her wedding is at the end of April. It's in greens and mustard yellows. She likes those colors. I'm going to quilt in their names and the wedding date so it will be a special keepsake for them!
I also have the superhero t-shirt quilt to quilt up. The backing is going to be great, and I can't wait to return it to Sonya and see her reaction!
At that appointment, he said all the same things I said. Those side effects were not from the medication. She's tired and dizzy from the AFib, not the Crestor. And Crestor doesn't cause a rash. She still didn't care and wasn't going to accept it. He told her to take it for 3 or 4 days more and if there were side effects that were bad, then she could set it aside. She told DD later when asked about the appointment, "Only 4 more days!" With a chuckle. So what SHE heard is, "take it for 4 more days, then you can quit." *sigh*
The other problem is that DH & I don't see eye to eye on keeping someone there 24/7. He thinks it's fine to let her be alone and if she has a fall or a problem she can just call us. This is crazy because it depends on her 1. calling for help - which she never, never does. 2. being honest about how she is feeling, which she also never, never does and again, calling for help when she is not feeling well. 3. following the "rules" about not going outside without anyone, using her cane, no stairs, etc. So I am still going over for all my "shifts" and just hanging out. But now, in only the second week of this, he is going on Thursday and Friday morning for a short visit and then coming home and going to bed. So she is alone from, say, 9am until I get there around 5pm. *another sigh* I understand his problem with being there, he is not getting enough sleep and has fallen asleep at work - that could get him fired! But, yesterday he did this for the first time, and she went outside alone and got the mail and paper. Luckily, no falls or incidents, but next time? Who knows?
He says I'm not listening to him, when he says we don't need to be there 24/7, but I also think he's not hearing me. He gets upset because he says my questioning his plan is saying I'm saying he doesn't "know" his mom. But you know, in a way I don't think he does. He knows she is stubborn, and he knows she is determined, but he doesn't seem to know that this stubborn determined thing takes its form in her throwing away medication and going out to the road. And she doesn't regret either one of those examples. She would do them again - heck, she's alone today, maybe she DID go out to the mailbox. What if she had thrown away her blood thinner instead of cholesterol medicine? What if I hadn't noticed? How long before another stroke? And God help us, what if this one was bigger? He tells her THAT, but she is like most people, thinking "Oh, that won't happen to me, I'll be fine." And that's the part he is disconnected from. She thinks "Oh, it's just down the sidewalk, to the mailbox. There's no snow or ice, I have my cane . . . . I'll be just fine, nothing will happen." But you know what, falls happen, accidents happen. We aren't at her house to "give care" but mostly just to "be there in case." And yes, it does feel like a lot of wasted time. Nothing happens and we aren't needed. I sit there for 10 hours on her couch listening to TV shows I don't like (CSI, NCIS, Law & Order Special Victims & Criminal Minds -- SOOOO Depressing and dark! I hate even just hearing it & having it in my brain!!!!) and hand quilting or doing our bills & budgets. Just busywork, not really accomplishing anything.
So, now we head into our second weekend - DD & I will both be gone all day tomorrow (7:30am to 5 or 6pm) and MIL will be at our house for the day. I'll be interested to hear how it goes, what happens. Poor her though, DH will be watching what he likes, so it's "mountain men" - type reality shows for her all day, LOL.
Of course, my quilting isn't getting done, so the charm quilt didn't make it to the Bloomington show, heck, it only has about 2 passes done. I'm just doing a meandering feather all over the pieced section, rather than more custom quilting. The thread colors were just going to be a nightmare with all the different color fabrics. I have a pretty table runner that's pieced and ready to quilt as a wedding gift for a gal at church. Her wedding is at the end of April. It's in greens and mustard yellows. She likes those colors. I'm going to quilt in their names and the wedding date so it will be a special keepsake for them!
I also have the superhero t-shirt quilt to quilt up. The backing is going to be great, and I can't wait to return it to Sonya and see her reaction!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
And . . . . we've reached that first big bridge!
When MIL came home after her two weeks in the hospital, Sister-in-Law and her husband moved in to give her 24 hour a day supervision. Seemed like an ok plan at the time. But, in a nutshell, their personalities are not working well together. There was another blow up on Monday this week. I went to her house to take over for the day. We got to therapies and even a short Wal-Mart trip. SIL & hubby showed back up at 7:30 and delivered the news that they were "done" and now it was our "turn." *sigh*
So, I let my DH know all the developments and he headed to work for the night. Yesterday at dinner time we got to talk finally. We think we have puzzled out a solution. Our goal is to provide 24 hour supervision for MIL, and keep her in her own home. I will see if work can change my schedule so that I only work on Thursday and Friday (but long days, 8 - 5.) That will let me be at her house Mon - Wed from 7am to 5 pm. DH will come from 5pm to 9pm when he goes to work, and middle DD will take the overnight and sleep there. She will leave and go to school at 7am. On Thursday and Friday, we reverse - DH comes to his mom's straight from work and stays 7:30am to 5:30pm. I come after I get off work and take 5:30 to when middle DD gets there, about 9 or 10pm depending on her work schedule. Saturday is the only problem day. Our schedules are too unpredictable - so we'll have middle DD bring her over to our house after they get up, and she'll stay at our house for the day. Saturday night, middle DD & MIL go back to her house to sleep (or I take her there and wait on DD to get there from work, that is sometimes a late shift for her.) Sunday, middle DD stays on through the afternoon, then I come over and stay till middle DD is off work at 9 or 10 pm again. Only hitch with Sunday is, MIL will have to go to church with us. She may not like that, but there isn't anyone available to watch her during that time. Sometimes DS may be able to do it, if he is off on Sunday. So that will be a flexible thing.
SO, that's our plan. Does it sound as crazy to you, my friendly reader, as it does to me?? My only REAL concern is that my house will fall apart. I will only have a couple of hours a day to keep up with dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, errands and my quilting business.
My first step is to copy her insurance cards and find out if insurance will cover anyone coming in to help out. If we could get a caregiver for a couple times a week, maybe 4 hours or so, that would give me time to run errands and get groceries.
Honestly, my brain knows this is long-term, for as long as we have her or her situation changes for the worse. But realistically, I'm only looking at it in chunks of a few weeks. Of course, when summer comes and our youngest DD is out of school, she might help out a little too. Especially when you remember that Gr'ma has air conditioning, and we don't LOL.
On a personal front, I have been at my best. Feeling better than I can remember. I quit drinking Diet Coke around Christmas, and I've been drinking tons of water. I'm watching what and how much I'm eating, not eating anything after 8pm and have even lost weight - I was down to 133.8 on Tuesday (but didn't eat much since I was with MIL all day Wednesday, so it won't stay, LOL) My depression is more under control than maybe ever. I switched to generic on my Rx at the first of the year. So, probably a combination of all these things have added up to better health -- and just in the nick of time! I'll need to be in best form to take on caring for MIL.
Quilting, well, it's ok. I cleared my February calendar so that I could work on my scrappy stars for our bed. It's huge -- king size. I was hoping to put it in the Bloomington quilt show, but it won't be done in time. It's on the frame and getting feathers meandered in the main area. Not sure what I'll do in the outer border, but I think I'll be doing some trapunto flowers, vines and leave. I have a couple of customers in line to call first of March, or sooner if I get mine done before then. I was invited to present a program at the evening guild on Trapunto. I was super nervous, but it went well and was even fun. I've been meaning to join the evening guild for some time, and maybe now is the time, since it will be harder to get to the morning guild and find someone to be with MIL because that's a therapy and doctor appt. day. I know I need to find a way to keep a few fun outlets in my schedule if at all possible, I'll need some things to blow off steam and relieve stress :0) Heck, maybe I'll even vent, oops, I mean post in this blog more!
So, I let my DH know all the developments and he headed to work for the night. Yesterday at dinner time we got to talk finally. We think we have puzzled out a solution. Our goal is to provide 24 hour supervision for MIL, and keep her in her own home. I will see if work can change my schedule so that I only work on Thursday and Friday (but long days, 8 - 5.) That will let me be at her house Mon - Wed from 7am to 5 pm. DH will come from 5pm to 9pm when he goes to work, and middle DD will take the overnight and sleep there. She will leave and go to school at 7am. On Thursday and Friday, we reverse - DH comes to his mom's straight from work and stays 7:30am to 5:30pm. I come after I get off work and take 5:30 to when middle DD gets there, about 9 or 10pm depending on her work schedule. Saturday is the only problem day. Our schedules are too unpredictable - so we'll have middle DD bring her over to our house after they get up, and she'll stay at our house for the day. Saturday night, middle DD & MIL go back to her house to sleep (or I take her there and wait on DD to get there from work, that is sometimes a late shift for her.) Sunday, middle DD stays on through the afternoon, then I come over and stay till middle DD is off work at 9 or 10 pm again. Only hitch with Sunday is, MIL will have to go to church with us. She may not like that, but there isn't anyone available to watch her during that time. Sometimes DS may be able to do it, if he is off on Sunday. So that will be a flexible thing.
SO, that's our plan. Does it sound as crazy to you, my friendly reader, as it does to me?? My only REAL concern is that my house will fall apart. I will only have a couple of hours a day to keep up with dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, errands and my quilting business.
My first step is to copy her insurance cards and find out if insurance will cover anyone coming in to help out. If we could get a caregiver for a couple times a week, maybe 4 hours or so, that would give me time to run errands and get groceries.
Honestly, my brain knows this is long-term, for as long as we have her or her situation changes for the worse. But realistically, I'm only looking at it in chunks of a few weeks. Of course, when summer comes and our youngest DD is out of school, she might help out a little too. Especially when you remember that Gr'ma has air conditioning, and we don't LOL.
On a personal front, I have been at my best. Feeling better than I can remember. I quit drinking Diet Coke around Christmas, and I've been drinking tons of water. I'm watching what and how much I'm eating, not eating anything after 8pm and have even lost weight - I was down to 133.8 on Tuesday (but didn't eat much since I was with MIL all day Wednesday, so it won't stay, LOL) My depression is more under control than maybe ever. I switched to generic on my Rx at the first of the year. So, probably a combination of all these things have added up to better health -- and just in the nick of time! I'll need to be in best form to take on caring for MIL.
Quilting, well, it's ok. I cleared my February calendar so that I could work on my scrappy stars for our bed. It's huge -- king size. I was hoping to put it in the Bloomington quilt show, but it won't be done in time. It's on the frame and getting feathers meandered in the main area. Not sure what I'll do in the outer border, but I think I'll be doing some trapunto flowers, vines and leave. I have a couple of customers in line to call first of March, or sooner if I get mine done before then. I was invited to present a program at the evening guild on Trapunto. I was super nervous, but it went well and was even fun. I've been meaning to join the evening guild for some time, and maybe now is the time, since it will be harder to get to the morning guild and find someone to be with MIL because that's a therapy and doctor appt. day. I know I need to find a way to keep a few fun outlets in my schedule if at all possible, I'll need some things to blow off steam and relieve stress :0) Heck, maybe I'll even vent, oops, I mean post in this blog more!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
January came in like a LION!
WOW! After a nice, and fairly uneventful Christmas (but my camera was misplaced, so no photos BOO!) January came down on us like a ton of bricks. I was actually sick with a stomach bug right before Christmas, it lasted 4 miserable days. Ellen got it right after, and had it for almost a week, then Tim got it! It lingered with him for just over a week. I think they had trouble kicking it because they were trying to eat or at least nibble a bit. I didn't get better until I gave up and went to fluids only for the day - then I was better in the morning. Same for Ellen, finally. Tim never did take the step of fluids only and I'm sure that's why it was so hard to get over it.
Christmas was really nice. Marci asked for luggage from Santa, almost as odd as crutches, yes? Max wanted new work shoes. He needed them, and so we picked them out together at Kohl's. We were there together so I could help him shop for Marci. He had a great gift for Ellen, but was stumped on Marci. He ended up getting her a pretty scarf there and a tote for her hair curlers & straighteners when she travels. She loved them so it was great! Ellen got a gift certificate for Kohl's to pick out some clothes. She has fallen in love with sweaters, and Santa could have picked some out and given her that, but "he" thought she'd enjoy picking out her own (and lower prices at after Christmas sales would stretch "his" budget.)
But then January came and life changed. Tim's mom went into the hospital on the 8th and they determined she'd had some small strokes. They can't say how many exactly, but two areas of her brain were affected, and the areas were larger than the doctor's expected when they looked at the MRI. She was really lucky though - not much damage is evident. She is slightly weaker on her left side (10% in her hand grip) and has to think a bit longer to answer questions or participate in conversations - I'd say she will walk away with about a 5% reduction in thinking and in using her left side -- to too darn bad, and probably not noticable except by those who are around her all the time. She is still in the hospital, but got to move up to the rehab floor on the 10th. There was a setback on Sunday. I was there and stayed through the night. She had us pretty worried! She was unrepsonsive, hard to wake up & running a fever of 101.5. They did a chest xray, it was clean, and then a CAT scan and it was clean too. Thought it might be a urinary tract infection and began antibiotics. She was also very dehydrated - they could barely get the IV started. It took three nurses, one of them the nursing supervisor for the hospital! The next morning, the Doctor thought it was probably asperative pnuemonia and added another antibiotic. That seemed to get her doing better. She actually did her therapies on Monday, which amazed the previous night's nurses and aids!! We would never have believed we were even going to get her out of bed, much less walking and talking!
Of course this means I've been having lots of interaction with Tim's sister & husband. Never fun and usually pretty frustrating. But, I've been working hard to take a step back and let them take the lead, let them answer the Dr.'s questions, let them monopolize conversations, etc. It's hard, I'm not sure all my toungue is still intact after biting it so much LOL. But it's been good for me. It's paying off at home too, I'm interrupting less and listening more. The sister & BIL plan to move into Tootie's house and live there. They are hoping their daughter and soon-to-be SIL will move into their house to keep it lived in. Tim thinks SIL is not on board with that plan, and if he has enough gumption, they'll say no and stay put. The back up plan then is that sis & BIL will still move into Tootie's house, but their son (20) will stay back at their house and a friend/cousin (not sure :/) will move in with him and those two will keep up the house (LOL!!) I see a whole road of disasters ahead with both of the plans, but I'm practicing my "butt out" ability. Actually, the mantra I've been using is "Just because I know the answer/information, doesn't mean they want/need to hear it from me" - that will shut you up in a jiffy ;)
So, we're taking it little by little, and crossing bridges as we get there. So far it's going well enough. Stay tuned.
Christmas was really nice. Marci asked for luggage from Santa, almost as odd as crutches, yes? Max wanted new work shoes. He needed them, and so we picked them out together at Kohl's. We were there together so I could help him shop for Marci. He had a great gift for Ellen, but was stumped on Marci. He ended up getting her a pretty scarf there and a tote for her hair curlers & straighteners when she travels. She loved them so it was great! Ellen got a gift certificate for Kohl's to pick out some clothes. She has fallen in love with sweaters, and Santa could have picked some out and given her that, but "he" thought she'd enjoy picking out her own (and lower prices at after Christmas sales would stretch "his" budget.)
But then January came and life changed. Tim's mom went into the hospital on the 8th and they determined she'd had some small strokes. They can't say how many exactly, but two areas of her brain were affected, and the areas were larger than the doctor's expected when they looked at the MRI. She was really lucky though - not much damage is evident. She is slightly weaker on her left side (10% in her hand grip) and has to think a bit longer to answer questions or participate in conversations - I'd say she will walk away with about a 5% reduction in thinking and in using her left side -- to too darn bad, and probably not noticable except by those who are around her all the time. She is still in the hospital, but got to move up to the rehab floor on the 10th. There was a setback on Sunday. I was there and stayed through the night. She had us pretty worried! She was unrepsonsive, hard to wake up & running a fever of 101.5. They did a chest xray, it was clean, and then a CAT scan and it was clean too. Thought it might be a urinary tract infection and began antibiotics. She was also very dehydrated - they could barely get the IV started. It took three nurses, one of them the nursing supervisor for the hospital! The next morning, the Doctor thought it was probably asperative pnuemonia and added another antibiotic. That seemed to get her doing better. She actually did her therapies on Monday, which amazed the previous night's nurses and aids!! We would never have believed we were even going to get her out of bed, much less walking and talking!
Of course this means I've been having lots of interaction with Tim's sister & husband. Never fun and usually pretty frustrating. But, I've been working hard to take a step back and let them take the lead, let them answer the Dr.'s questions, let them monopolize conversations, etc. It's hard, I'm not sure all my toungue is still intact after biting it so much LOL. But it's been good for me. It's paying off at home too, I'm interrupting less and listening more. The sister & BIL plan to move into Tootie's house and live there. They are hoping their daughter and soon-to-be SIL will move into their house to keep it lived in. Tim thinks SIL is not on board with that plan, and if he has enough gumption, they'll say no and stay put. The back up plan then is that sis & BIL will still move into Tootie's house, but their son (20) will stay back at their house and a friend/cousin (not sure :/) will move in with him and those two will keep up the house (LOL!!) I see a whole road of disasters ahead with both of the plans, but I'm practicing my "butt out" ability. Actually, the mantra I've been using is "Just because I know the answer/information, doesn't mean they want/need to hear it from me" - that will shut you up in a jiffy ;)
So, we're taking it little by little, and crossing bridges as we get there. So far it's going well enough. Stay tuned.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Well, where are the quilts?
For the first time, I don't have much in the way of customer quilts in the line up. I'm a little nervous. I had hoped that the band ad would generate a bunch of t-shirt quilts . . . .but that hasn't happened. :(
I have a pair from a friend, and she's in no hurry (she said, heck, it took me five years to get them to this point, don't rush!) And the rest are charity quilts - basting one for mom, the blue Ohio stars for the Edna Martin Christian center, 2 Quilts of Valor for a friend, and . . . . . that's it! My round robin is haning in line, and I have a Grandmother's flower garden to do for myself, a flannel patchwork top that I purchased, and maybe a couple other unimportant tops of my own here and there in various near-complete stages.
On the horizon is one t-shirt quilt for the Dance teacher (we are bartering Marci's tumbling lessons) - her hubby is gathering the shirts now, so it may be a few more weeks. I think she'd like it by Christmas, which shouldn't be a problem. The only other one is also a t-shirt type memory quilt that will need light, simple quilting. It's from a repeat customer and she expects to have it to me in mid-November.
But then that's it. I have two bills that rely on my quilting to pay them, so it makes me nervous. God hasn't ever let me down in the quilting business, so I'm sure it will be fine, but if I am honest . . . I am nervous.
I will try to be appreciative of the upcoming free time, and work on a few of my own things. Time to make a list, prioritize and make some progress. Perhaps this can be a year that I get to make a few more homemade gifts, that would be a good thing! Lord knows, that Marci is due a pieced quilt from me. Her sister has two AND a doll quilt; her brother has one AND a recovered one that was in Mr. Calico's family. Marci has the little t-shirt lap quilt I made last year (mostly as a sample for the new t-shirt customers I was hoping to have this year) doesn't seem too fair. I do have about half of a lime, black and hot pink one cut out for her, so time to get piecing! Oooh! And I'm sure I can squeeze a matching doll quilt out of the leftovers too - that would be awesome!!
I have a pair from a friend, and she's in no hurry (she said, heck, it took me five years to get them to this point, don't rush!) And the rest are charity quilts - basting one for mom, the blue Ohio stars for the Edna Martin Christian center, 2 Quilts of Valor for a friend, and . . . . . that's it! My round robin is haning in line, and I have a Grandmother's flower garden to do for myself, a flannel patchwork top that I purchased, and maybe a couple other unimportant tops of my own here and there in various near-complete stages.
On the horizon is one t-shirt quilt for the Dance teacher (we are bartering Marci's tumbling lessons) - her hubby is gathering the shirts now, so it may be a few more weeks. I think she'd like it by Christmas, which shouldn't be a problem. The only other one is also a t-shirt type memory quilt that will need light, simple quilting. It's from a repeat customer and she expects to have it to me in mid-November.
But then that's it. I have two bills that rely on my quilting to pay them, so it makes me nervous. God hasn't ever let me down in the quilting business, so I'm sure it will be fine, but if I am honest . . . I am nervous.
I will try to be appreciative of the upcoming free time, and work on a few of my own things. Time to make a list, prioritize and make some progress. Perhaps this can be a year that I get to make a few more homemade gifts, that would be a good thing! Lord knows, that Marci is due a pieced quilt from me. Her sister has two AND a doll quilt; her brother has one AND a recovered one that was in Mr. Calico's family. Marci has the little t-shirt lap quilt I made last year (mostly as a sample for the new t-shirt customers I was hoping to have this year) doesn't seem too fair. I do have about half of a lime, black and hot pink one cut out for her, so time to get piecing! Oooh! And I'm sure I can squeeze a matching doll quilt out of the leftovers too - that would be awesome!!
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